you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
