Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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