So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
