Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
