Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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