the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
