i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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