did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
