somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
