I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
