Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
