At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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