M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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