i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
