i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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