Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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