he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
