i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
