i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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