I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
