My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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