He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
