When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
