i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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