i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
