but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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