He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize