bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
