she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
