Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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