I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
