It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
