I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
