if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm sobbing to NWA
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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