Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
