the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
