Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
