so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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