your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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