All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
