oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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