Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
