TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
