So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
