i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
