i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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