I wish my penis had an off switch
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
