I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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