Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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