Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
