Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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