Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I need to stop coming to work sober
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
