don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
