btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
