a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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