His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize