I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
