i barfeds in our rink
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
