so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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